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This week's Ask the GameGirls takes a more serious tone. Sophia writes in to the GameGirls about feeling pressured to give up her virginity:

Question from Sophia:

Well, I have been out of the dating scene for a little while now due to the fact that my boyfriend was cheating on me. They said we just wouldn't work out because I didn't want to "give it up" ...all in all I kinda think I am cursed...

Now I have met this new cute and very nice guy named Chad.We have hit it off so well--we like the same things and he has a steady job.

But I fear that because of the problem I had in my previous relationship that we may not work out... what if he gets mad about me hanging with my friends who are guys? Also, what if it does work out for a long time with him and he wants to have sex? I really don't want to go through with it until I'm at least 20 or so.

I am just saying it's hard for girls out there now with all the pressure put on them. It's hard for girls like myself who want a pure relationship.

If you can could you please tell me how I can keep a good relationship going. Mine seem to end too quickly.

Sincerely,
--Sophia

Oh_Snap' Response:
The best thing you can do is tell him what you told us. Tell him that you feel you're too young to have sex and that you want to wait until you're 20. That way he'll know up front and hopefully he won't pressure you. Or if he doesn't like it, you can both end the relationship relatively early before things start to get too serious. It will hurt less now than if you wait to tell him when you've possibly developed deeper feelings for him and he ends up breaking up with you.

As for him being jealous of you hanging out with your guy friends, maybe you can let him hang out with you guys every so often. I'm not saying he has to be with you every time you want to hang around them. But if you make him feel included, that should help decrease the chances of him becoming jealous or getting mad. Maybe he'll even make friends with them too.

Britini Martini' Response:
Very interesting question. Right now, I'm probably the worst person to give advice on this subject since I'm in a really bad situation right now with my boyfriend and I have no idea what to do. (I moved all the way out here from Indiana, just to get my heart broken, basically.) I really don't know enough about your situation to really give you good advice... but what it seems like you're looking for is a rebound from your last relationship, and that's the worst thing to do. I'm basically a rebound, and believe me... it doesn't work and it hurts really bad when the other person realizes they're not ready for another relationship. Hanging out with your guy friends and stuff shouldn't be a problem as long as you invite him to come with every once in a while just so he doesn't get jealous. Before you get together make sure he knows you're not ready for sex so he doesn't pressure you into it later.

Nikole's Response:
I'm sorta of in a similar boat as you. I have trust issues. I really don't know how good my advice can be since I'm pretty much at a standstill right now in my dating life. However, you just got to be honest. Be upfront with any issues you have. I think the hardest thing to do is realize that just because you have been hurt before and guys have treated you a certain way before doesn't mean that all guys are going to be like that. Sadly, a lot are though, so be careful. He will get mad at some things and you will get mad right back, that's life.But if you can talk things out and move on then you know you have something. As far as sex goes, you are going to feel pressure. Tell him that you simply aren't ready. I'm sure he can respect that. This sucks but it's true, if he starts pressuring you, then he just doesn't care like he should. And obviously you deserve more than that. Every person does. Sex is a much bigger deal than most people let on. Also, I know you have been hurt. I kinda think all girls have. Try not to go into a new relationship with so many negatives. Sometimes you just have to meet obstacles as they happen and hope for the best. I know that's easier said than done. I still can't seem to do that. If there is anything I could change about myself it would be that I wouldn't be so afraid to get hurt again. I don't think you'd have a successful relationship if you're too afraid to let your guard down. If you can figure this dating thing out, you might need to give some of us GameGirls advice. I know it's total cliche, but Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream helps, especially if you are baked yourself .

bunnyXablaze's Response:
I can't even get my own relationship figured out. I'm not in the situation to even begin giving out advice. Best of luck Sophia.

Miz_Calamity's Response:
The first thing you need to do is to see his view on the subject. Then let him know how you feel about it. Me and my boyfriend had that talk during the early stages of our relationship (basically BEFORE we started dating) and he is completely fine with that (and we just had our 9 month anniversary). Now, I have to tell you that I know how you feel about getting the whole cheated on because you wouldn't "put out" and honey if he really cared about you then he would try to force you into something you don't want to do. He would respect how you feel about that and leave you be. Guys nowadays (not all of them, but 90%) care more about that, than they do about the relationship. Don't expect too much out of some guys under 20 because that is mostly what they are looking for.

But my overall suggestion to you is maybe to just give it some time. Especially if you don't feel comfortable to trust a guy about stuff like that. Build a friendship with this guy and see where it goes from there. As for the jealousy issue, just include him in every once in a while. I know some guys get territorial about stuff like that, BUT the guy needs to realize that if you wanted to be with these guys you could have a long time ago but you're strictly friends. On the plus side, he could end up being really cool with them which will be good for you.

More importantly, don't think that he is going to end up like the rest. Not all guys are like that and to think he will end up turning out like your past boyfriends will only make you not trust him--and in the end that will end your relationship faster than anything else would. Keep your chin up hun and remember you don't need a man in your life to make you happy. First you need to make yourself happy.

FemmeFatale's Response:
Hey Sophia. First off... you're not cursed! It can take a long time to find that awesome guy, and besides you're still so young! All your past relationships were experiences that guide you to your next one, help YOU find out what you want in one, and what you're truly looking for. I'm glad you met Chad! (rhyming really not intended). Don't let your fear from past hook ups intrude on this one. It's not very fair to Chad if you automatically think he may be a cheater or only wants you for you-know-what. Think of this as a fresh sheet of paper, another new experience.

Any respectable guy will understand that you have male friends, and that you'll have sex when you're ready to have sex. Also, you may be more ready than you think! That all comes with time, and what your relationship develops into. Bring him to hang out with the guys! Let him gain trust in them, and you (same goes for his friends). You never know, he may find new best buds! If he doesn't respect your morals or friends, why would he respect you? That's not the kind of boy you want. Good question sweetie. Hope I could help!

Got a question of your own for the GameGirls? Send an email to them at thegamegirls@gamepro.com. Your letter may appear in the next Ask the GameGirls!

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